I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
