Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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