She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
