Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Randomize