So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
