Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was born a porn star she said
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
