Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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