Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
