His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
