Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
