grandma shit on top of the toilet
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
