stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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