How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm at about main and main street
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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