Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
