Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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