Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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