found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
