i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My life is pants optional.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
