I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
