she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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