Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize