Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
