I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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