i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
