She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
