It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
