i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize