I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
