it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
