I want to have your abortion
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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