i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
