real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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