im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
