i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
