Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
