I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
