no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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