Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
