This dress was meant to end up on your floor
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
