that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
