ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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