Where did you get a picture of my penis
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
