fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All the doctor said was why
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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