he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
