3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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