So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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