please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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