I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
