ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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