What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
