I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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