Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize