I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
