Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
