I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
