D3 body, D1 cock
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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