I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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