me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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